chapter 10: finding freedom
Freedom to Ask and Accept Yourself.
lady-with-a-hat-1895
第欧根尼裸身莲花坐,在森林里直望着天空;亚历山大王胜仗归来,率军路遇相疑惑问道:你在干嘛?
第欧根尼答:无所事事。又问:你在干嘛?
亚历山大笑道:征服世界。
Jia Jiang 这样分析这个故事:
他们都是在征服世界,一个客观群聚部落,一个主观个人世界。
在如此险恶的世界里平和地找到乐趣所在,是多么一件不容易的事情。
Jia Jiang用他的一百次被拒旅程,像我展示出探索是可以多么有趣。用他理解的方法,金钱是衡量价值标准,但不是任何价值都需要用金钱衡量。
It was the changing-the-world-and-making-it-better part that attracted me deeply. That’s why I dreamed of becoming an entrepreneur and loathed being just another cog in a corporate machine, no matter how much I was paid.
dream of becoming
loath being
这两组词对仗工整,相当美妙。
an entrepreneur
just another cog in a corporate machine
loathe: to hate very much = detest
loath: adj, reluctant
We all grow up and after the years' of change, maybe end up loathing the one we have dreamed of.
我们在丛林中行走,但总有人想改变世界。生存资源的争夺不是他们关心的事情,他们就梦想着,终生为自己的理想奋斗。
这样的人是可敬的。
从Jia Jiang的文字里可以读书他的幽默与开朗,想必他生活里总是释放光芒。当一个人对别人看来很无聊的事情,煞有介事时,他的世界里总是充满乐趣的。
不过他刚开始也并不是这样子的。小时候他向叔叔说自己长大了要当企业家,(虽然父母爷辈俱是老师),叔叔说他的想法太愚蠢了,指责他不应该想这么不着边际的事情,应该把重心放在学业上。
但在完成一场“被拒之旅”后,他鼓起勇气问多年前的这件小事,叔叔这时说,他一直觉得Jia Jiang敢于梦想,虽然有点不切实际。只是他觉得这个想法不好,然后就批评了他下。
Maybe it’s the ways we’re brought up as children, where conforming to our parents’ wishes brings approval and praise and deviating from them means scolding and rejection.
conform to:comply with rules
deviate from:to change so that not to follow
bring/mean
approval and praise
scolding and rejection
又是三对词,对比着积累效果更好一点。
他学会了是他学会了,这些道理成为他遇到事情的本能反应。而我们看他记录下来的这些总结,并不能使我们在遇到rejection时顺利化解,但是细细品味这些话语,能够帮助我们纠正过去对别人拒绝的偏见,然后为下一次的被拒做好心理准备。
首先你应该认识到:
Rejection is human, is an opinion and has a number.
其次再遇到他人拒绝你的情景时:
Ask “why” before good-bye.
Retreat, don’t run.
Collaborate, don’t contend.
Switch up, don’t give up.
最后明白,接受别人的拒绝可以完善自己以下方面的思考:
Motivation.
Self-improvement.
Character building.
我们在成长过程中,总会建立起一套自己的思考方式,不谈好坏,各自的价值标准,总有瑕疵,但为了让自己过得更好,我们的人性里有这么一条:
Judging by traditional success, odds are that someone we talked to would have liked the idea, which would have given us the encouragement we’d needed to pursue our idea to the next step.
Judging by... 依据....的标准
odds are that......大概是
这两个短语超级好用。
Judging by his beliefs, odds are that we are born to love but not to fight.
【1】 what did the author learn from rejection attempt number 92?
He learned what real flying was, and perhaps how the Wright brothers and early pilots felt when they were in the air.
He learned to make my requests in more artistic and scientific ways, and to maneuver around rejection when it came.
He learned that amazing things can happen when he reached out and took that first step—and his excitement about those possibilities has begun to overshadow any fear he have about potential rejection.
【2】why did his uncle reject his wheels-on-shoes start-up idea?
Because his uncle didn’t like the idea, thinking it wouldn’t work. The idea was just not good, in my opinion.
【3】The author made a list of the most important lessons he has learned about rejection. which did you think was the most useful idea for you? Why?
Rejection is an opinion. Because it shows rejection is only the receiver's reaction and is affected by too many factors. You cannot be responsible for all the consequence, right? Sometimes you cannot to change what the other thinks about you.