chapter five——#RETHINKING REJECTION

the-thinker

 导读问题 

 【1】
What were in play (for Jennifer) on the day of the author's third try?

• Be inquisitive about people’s intentions and not to dismiss their requests.

• Hospitality. 

• Smile and a positive attitude.

• Never say no to acustomer’s request without first trying to find a solution.

【2】
How do you think about the well-dressed woman's behavior: taking the apple with a straight response——OK, thanks and biting into it after several steps later?

Maybe she was out of her habbits and never thought too much about that. When the number of people is big enough, you will always find someone weid/surprising.

【3】
Why does the author believe that rejection has a number?

As what as said in the movie: everyone has a number and it’s usually an exact number——the amount of money you would need to be able to walk away from it all and just live happily ever after. Through his rejection experiments, he realized that one could often get a yes simply by talking to enough people. Because of the movie and his experience, he believes that there exists one number in rejection.

 积累字词

【1】

But my curiosity about what would happen far outweighed my nervousness.

weigh 是“称重”的意思，outweigh是“to be greater than (someone or something) in weight, value, or importance”，前面有个副词“far”修饰。

这里用的是curiosity outweighs nervousness，我们常常感觉好奇心害死猫，这时的心理活动就是这样子的，好奇心超过了紧张感。

当然也可以换成 curiosity outweighs fear 或者 consiciousness outweighs benefits

【2】

she told me that having a well-spoken man with a good résumé stop by the office looking for a one-day job had piqued her curiosity

pique 这个词出现两次了，是cause 的意思，激起好奇心。

His actions pique my curiosity.

【3】

Dan not only loved my story, but also quickly started churning out wacky ideas for me to try

churn有搅拌奶油的意思，也可以表示 大量炮制

就像恶作剧一样，你想了个trick，然后一系列的坏点子也都出来了。

He churns out a lot of ideas to trick me.

 精华摘抄 

Outside influences have an enormous impact on the way people see asituation—and those influences can change over time. The way someone feels about me, or about a request I’m making, can be impacted by factors that have nothing to do with me. If people’s opinions and behaviors can change so drastically based on so many different factors, why should I take everything about a rejection so personally?

If a bad idea like eating unwrapped food from a stranger isn’t universally rejected, do universally rejected ideas even exist? And if not, maybe that means that the only reason you get rejected from things is because you haven’t met the right person to say it yet.

这两段话探究出了“被拒绝”的真理：别人拒绝你的请求只是出于他们自己的习惯、性格和当时的环境因子，你提出要求只是变量的一部分，我们能做的是尽量完善自己，提高对方说好的概率（maxmazi the chance to get a yes）而不是完全将对方的回答归因到自己身上。我们需要做的是多尝试几次，多问几个人，多换种方法。

这一章里给出了三个lessons:

1. 

Rejection Is Human: Rejection is a human interaction with two sides. It often says more about the rejector than the rejectee, and should never be used as the universal truth and sole judgment of merit. 

拒绝和接受都是两方的博弈，这两种表达都体现的是对方的信息，而不完全是自己的失误或成功。

2. 

Rejection Is an Opinion: Rejection is an opinion of the rejector. It is heavily influenced by historical context, cultural differences, and psychological factors. There is no universal rejection or acceptance. 

对方的拒绝是他表达的一种观点，受历史因素影响（生长环境经济文化，心理变化等等。）

3. 

Rejection Has a Number: Every rejection has a number. If the rejectee goes through enough rejections, a no could turn into a yes.

拒绝是有个上限的，过了这个临界点就会是对方的接受。在经历足够的拒绝后，

1.你成熟了，知道如何应对，知道自己的不足，知道对方的需求；

2.于是就能更好地把握，对方也变了，对方可能恰巧就是你要找的人，对方的条件也成熟了。

所以，遇到拒绝等负面回报，不要就此终结，再尝试一下，go get eough ones, find your right one.